sanshuiren 发表于 2014-9-1 01:50   全显示 1楼
先说一句,楼主码字辛苦了。
抱歉我真的只看了开头,没办法往下看,开头还好,看到中间特别长的一段,感觉真的很累,就没往下看了,是不是考虑一下分个一两段,眼睛没那么辛苦。
情节方面没全看完不好评价,但我看的一部分来说,心理描写也太平淡了,怎么从意淫到真的实施强奸,没有任何过渡,不太有说服力,就一个“鬼使神差”?然后进到房间后,文字也太拖沓了,那个破烂房子写了一大堆,什么“左边是厨房,右边是厕所”这些对于整个故事起到什么作用?
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  • 天灵灵哟 金币 +20 认真回复,奖励!10+10 2014-9-1 18:00
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